As a follow-up to yesterday’s post, I want to share another tip from the Tim Ferriss Show. This tactic will be helpful to introverts like me. And it will help you be a better, more authentic person!
All introverts know the feeling of wanting to exit a conversation at a party. It’s not that you don’t like someone, or that you’re uninterested. You just need a break. Yesterday, podcast guest Kevin Rose shared the best, and kindest, tactic I’ve ever heard for bowing out. Rather than awkwardly dancing around it, hit your desire head on. Here’s what you say:
“There are a few other people here I need to catch up with, but before I do, I really want to hear more about [that last interesting thing you said.]”
This accomplishes three things:
- Signal. Gracefully let the person know you’d like to exit the conversation.
- Complement. Boost the person by showing you’re listening, and that the things they care about interest you.
- Bonus time. Unlike all other tactics for exiting a conversation, you’re not trying to end the conversation now, and you’re not making an excuse. You’re telling the truth. And you’re displaying genuine interest. The end of the exchange is re-framed. Now, you both view the next few minutes as worthy investment of even more time together, because you’re both enjoying the conversation.
Of course this all works better when you really do care and really are interested. This is something I’ve had to work on, and maybe that will be another post. For now, the best trick for really caring about what any person is talking about is, ask better, deeper, more direct, more interesting, and weirder questions.
sabbatiblog 